Funny Quotes Facebook Status

Amazing Friendship Quotes - Brighten the whole day of your friends by posting the most hilarious and funny facebook status ideas and tagging them in it. Enjoy the day with funny status and be a reason of everyones smile. Make your friends smile by sharing funny messages for facebook status. Get the best ones from our site that matches your sense of humor. Share a new funny greetings facebook status every day and brighten the day of your friends and loved ones through this social network funny quotes on facebook used by millions of people all around the world. Here we keep adding funniest wishes facebook status and very funny facebook statuses quotes. Cute Quotes About Life For Facebook Ststus

• Heaven wont have me and hell is afraid that I will take over.

• The severity of the itch is proportional to the ability to reach the itch.

• I swear that my pillow must be a hair stylist because I wake up every morning with the weirdest hair dos.

• Crap happens but why must I always step in it.

• I asked my girlfriend what kind of books does she like and she replies "Checkbooks".

• The irony of a social network is that the majority of its users are alone.

• That light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

• Every time I get on the computer for something I always end up on facebook.

• Getting back with your Ex is the same as getting out of the shower and putting the same dirty clothes back on.

• Its now how you pick your nose but its where you put the booger.

• Being in good health just means that it is going to take you longer to die.

• Its not that you build patience as you get older, you just dont give a crap anymore

• I am not crazy, I just got tired of being normal

• So much to do and so little motivation to do it with.

• If people are two faced, does that mean that I can slap them twice?

• Your never to old to learn something stupid.

• What do you call a dead blonde under the porch? Last years hide and go seeks winner.

• She/He is as useless as a blind guy on a nudist beach.

• I am not stubborn, I am just persistent.

• Warning: I have watched enough CSI episodes to learn how to dispose of you without getting caught.

• How does a blind person know when he is done wiping?

• Everyone has a right to be stupid every once in a while but you are abusing your privileges.

• I have been fired by Pepsi. I tested positive for Coke.

• Congratulations, you have just wasted fifteen seconds of your life by reading my useless status.

• Do you ever walk into a room and forgot what you went in there for?

• Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want ,men have to sleep with whoever lets them!

• Do you know the meaning og ABCDEF? A boy can do everything for Girl. Reverse the meaning of, GFEDCBA … Girl forget everything done & Catches new boy Again.

• Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

• There are alot of fish in the sea, but I think there’s a hole in my net :)

• Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like SHAKIRA :)

• If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

• Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.

• An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

• FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block :( THE END

• Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

• Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

• Im a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you