Funny Love Quotes

A collection of funny love quotes by famous celebrities. Funny love quotes show the light-hearted and humorous side of love and relationships.

• Law and love are the same; romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.
~ Ally McBeal 

• In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares?
~ Amy Poehler

• Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
~ Anonymous

• You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
~ Anonymous

• The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
~ Anonymous

• No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
~ Anonymous

• Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way.~ Anonymous

• When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.~ Anonymous

• Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!~ Anonymous

• You can't buy love on eBay.
~ Anonymous

• Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
~ Anonymous

• Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
~ Anonymous

• If women didn't exist all the money in the world would have no meaning.
~ Aristotle Onassis

• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
~ Benjamin Franklin 

• If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
~ Bette Midler

• Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
~ Billy Crystal

• A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
~ Brendan Francis

• Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
~ Cathy Carlyle

• Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.~ Cathy Carlyle

• Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.~ Cecilia Egan

• The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.~ Charles de Gaulle

• All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.~ Charles M. Schulz

• Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
~ Charlie Brown

• Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
~ Charlie Brown

• The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.~ Cher

• Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.~ Cher

• Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.~ Cher

• Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
~ Christopher Marlowe

• The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.
~ Colin Chapman

• By the time you swear you're his,Shivering and sighing,And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
~ Dorothy Parker